I consider myself pretty open minded about drug use, although I don’t use them. I have other addictions and ways to chase my demons (food, shopping, old movies, and accumulating knowledge are my vices of choice). If you ask my friends though, they’ll say I’m not tolerant about drugs at all.
I’ve seen too many people I care about die from them. I walk on eggshells around friends who abuse them because I want them to stop eating pills like skittles and risking death so easily and carelessly (it’s not just the amounts that kill but the mixtures).
Somehow in rap it became cool to mix pills–chemical cocktails. My guess is when it became too risky for the d boys to sell coke and crack, they switched to weed, pills, and lean so it became easy and cheap (accessible) to get high.
I remember being close to BG when he had a full blown heroin addiction. I remember climbing in his Mercedes with him when he was rocking back and forth needing a fix as we hurled down I-10 dodging in and out of traffic at a speed that humbled me. I thought for sure I was going to die that day.
I remember watching a friend of Tupac’s, at my loft in NY, eat a handful of pills like candy and having to explain to David Banner (new to the rap industry) the ugly side of the industry and his heroes. That sucked.
I sat on a tour bus with Proof in Atlanta and listened to him almost cry about how he felt everyone around Eminem was draining him and how he (Em) turned to Vicodin and Oxycontin to cope. I guess I’m not giving up any secrets here, the tattoos on Em’s arms speak volumes to his past addictions. Hopefully passed. It sure upset Proof. I had no access to Em at that point to know what he was going through, just hoped his team would step in and solve the problem if he was unable to do so himself.
I’ve lost so many industry friends to drugs. By the time they die, we’re no longer speaking because we’ve fought so much over them going to rehab. With BG, I was willing to catch a kidnapping charge to get him into rehab–a Judge beat me to it. A Judge didn’t beat me to Pimp C. Death did. We hadn’t spoken in 3 months when he died over an argument about his drug use…wish I caught a kidnapping charge over dragging him to rehab. I just couldn’t take the 5am phone calls from him anymore, high as a kite. And he was publicly acting a fool.
So when Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse, and Whitney Houston died, I saw it a bit differently than the rest of humanity. I saw it as senseless and sad, but blamed those around the stars for not doing more, the way I blame myself for not doing more. I know how hard it is. I see the industry facilitate stars’ whims daily. I’ve seen labels, lovers, and family members buy drugs for artists. I’ve seen and heard the excuses. Hell, I’ve made excuses for my artist friends. It’s our fault. When we see them spiraling out of control, it’s up to us to help stop it. We won’t be able to every time, but at least we can try.
My newest artist just said to me “all they wanted from Whitney was to get money and eat off her.” It’s so much deeper than that. How do I explain to a new artist that he’s going to feel what she may have felt if he’s lucky enough to ever get that famous? There’s something to look forward to…
And then there are the outsiders….how do I explain to my Mom why Whitney died? Why her entourage may have put more time into cleaning up her room after her death to protect her image than was put into cleaning her up and fighting her demons with her? If her demons could even be conquered….
I guess I am anti drug. But it’s because no one in my world seems to be able to do them recreationally. And it’s the mixing of them that’s scary…. And it’s such a preventable death. At least when the stars pass, they are finally at peace. Problem is, the rest of us are left here to deal with the loss.
My newest eBook THE KNOWLEDGE TO SUCCEED: HOW TO GET A RECORD DEAL can be found at Amazon and iTunes. Click here: http://ow.ly/6KKi3
“Who I am is who I want to be!”
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”